18 September 2011 – Split

The little mermaid dove off a cliff to save her true love, and turned into sea foam. But what did she become when the sea foam disappeared? Did she become water or did she become air? Out of all the characters of fairy tales, I believe, she is the one who knew true suffering; the one who was doomed to be split between two worlds no matter what she did.

People are not built for suffering. We break so easily. Half the people in America are on some drug that will stave off mental collapse for one more day. People all over the world are dying for lack of something. Food, water, shelter, love. So, how is a person supposed to survive the suffering of a split soul? Not just in half, but in many pieces.

I left my heart in England. Her foggy cities, dreary moors, and taste for Earl Gray with milk took hold of me and said they would never give me back. Yet, I do not live in England. An ocean lies between us.

I left my heart in Turkey. The history wrapped itself around me and whispered that it could teach me forever. It would never leave me with nothing to learn, nothing to do, or nothing to be awestruck by. I am not in Turkey.

I left my heart with a friend. I never meant for him to have it, but he snatched it up and said “I’ll keep this now; you can have it back one day.” He never told me when that day would be. Our paths do not run parallel. Where will my heart go?

I left my heart with the elves. Truly it was always theirs. They always said I was not part of this world. That I would have been happier with them. There was a mix up somewhere. Who knows what they have done with my heart?

I left my heart with God. I told him it was His to clean, to nurture, and to love. He has kept it since even when I forget He is there. He has kept it even when I have consciously ignored Him. My heart is with Him in heaven, but I am not there yet.

The little mermaid was torn between two worlds. Her doom was never to belong. What am I to do? Two worlds would be a blessing because my heart has been torn so many times it is becoming hard to find.  WANDER is buried in my soul. It took part of my heart too. And a person should always follow their heart.